sick and twisted

this vision\

every one just wants their ‘finally’

i’ll kill anyone that gets close

i didn’t wanna lose you

or myself

but concepts hold hands

like they’re on fire/

as time runs out

and draws thin as this blade

Raindrop rivers
——-

Let’s climb trees
And fall in love
Jump in lakes
And kiss til we can’t see
Walk through forests
And play with the moon
Explore caves
And find each other in the dark
Swing on playgrounds
And never grow up
Drink through the night
And laugh through the day
Smile between kisses
And skip rocks at sunset
Let’s climb trees
And fall in love

Ceiling illuminated from the streetlight across the way
Nightsky dances above me
Lost in the stars
Poor substitute for your eyes
Songs in the back of my head remind me of morning beside you
And the smell of your hair
As you caress my skin

Emptiness becomes filled with warmth and smiles
Wherever you’re headed is good enough for me
A million thanks and kisses couldn’t express
Half of my depth for you
I swear I was born right in your doorway

Drunk in the backseat
Trying to form words that wouldn’t do you justice sober
Wrapped in a memory
And tied with a wish
Here’s my heart
It was yours from the start

Chemicals in finger tips
Combustion in strokes
Scratch the inside bottom lip
Forgetting everything past
Whispered words on canvas
In the moments you forget your sorrow

Pastel bodies
in the corridor.
Wrists keep snapping
like my brain.
Staring until everything turns to blood
and the words write themselves.
I’ll be residing in the comfort
of fair weather friends.
Screaming to my emptiness.
Love letters and suicide notes and
fantasies and scarring lungs and nothing.
Shots that burn in your chest
until you remember who you are-
what you want to forget.
Bruises turning green
time to freshen up.
The moon is drunk and shining on
everything I’m tired of seeing.

draining bottles into empty stomachs

dreams of isolation

waking up alone

againagainagain

going to bed with them

feelings of emptiness

draining thighs into bathtubs

idontknowwhoiam

betweenscratchingmyeyesout

andkillingmyselfeachnight

ivelostsomethingineverhad

friends are fiction

between the drinks

ive written mine pretty well

tv and music and pills

there was one

i wrote above the rest

never gives me a second thought

i liked them most

but now i’m giving it up

like i say every time

we’ll see how long that lasts

everything becomes the past

in dusty rooms where my ideals lie

set your match

it might help me get out

you keep stepping backwards

and i’ll just hope you don’t

maybe we’re making ourselves this way

peel the skin back

across where we were

and i’ll try not feel anything this time

you’re not the only sick one

and neither am i

there’s no heart in the rich girl

and all these object are so thin

we can only hope

to stop the bleeding

(Source: ericcaulfield.wordpress.com)

words burn into his head

like emotions within a stomach

doesn’t click

when it’s right in front of you

bottles later

there’s a wealth of his secrets you’re begging to hear

but we know you don’t want a thing to do with them

these pictures painted over years

become ablaze in moments from those damn ashes

you keep others alive while you’re killing yourself

and thinking nothing of it

you tell him to move on

as if he never tried

words burn through his thoughts at night

of what you’ve said and what he hasn’t

wondering what you haven’t

Father Time’s arriving late again

he’s pregaming with some sorority girls

bloody nose bathtubs

and school days filling our lungs with chalk

the ghosts in your eyes

make my advances look even more futile than before

your final seconds in the air

can steal your breath

i’m not fighting any demons

we’re on the same side now

(Source: ericcaulfield.wordpress.com)

blood on my hands

blood that no one can see

there’s an end somewhere here

my fingers betray me

as if they’ve lost their purpose

shaking the glass up to my lips

defenseless

the first will welcome the second

and destroy the need to change

the second steals my willpower

and eats away whatever’s left in me

the third takes my memory in my shallow

and i forget what started this

the fourth vanishes the future

and burns for more

until it all goes away

into the

black

(Source: ericcaulfield.wordpress.com)

falling forward in slow motion

kettering in every word that drips from your luscious lips

sighing amidst the noises in this glass

your cute slurred words

as dead as god

that feeling that you give

that feeling you don’t believe

a lungful away from hell

black out.

my crooked spine keeps me from heaven

keeps me in myself.

tracing the words upon your lips.

drip.

drip.

shooting up.

straight up into the atmosphere.

the blood within this sepulchre

floods my eyes.

twisted and one with the satin

paint me a lovers suicide

keep walking until my feet leave me alone

ten blocks and nothing to show for myself

i dont remember what i just said

i just know that i want you here

and that another shot might kill me

everythings spinning

please come save me

because youre all that i need

there’s so many words hidden behind your eyes